Why it Is Better to Be a Canadian, NOT American

July 1st, as Canada Day celebrates its 146th birthday, I celebrate Canada’s triumphs. Next to the United States we might seem insignificant but remember: looks are deceiving.

Maclean’s Magazine just published a Canada vs. America issue proclaiming “99 Reasons Why it’s Better to Be Canadian:We’re happier, fitter and richer and our kids are smarter too.” You can read all the statistics in the July 8, 2013 edition of Maclean’s.

Of course I read this issue with glee. I am not competitive in my personal life, choosing to also praise and exhort others, but I have an ingrained, historically rooted compulsion to out rank the powerful country to the south of me. Perhaps it is a David and Goliath syndrome. Here is a list of why I love Canada, a handful of  the stats do come from Maclean’s.

  1. We are more popular; wearing a maple leaf on your backpack means people treat you well in other countries
  2. We say eh? a word reaching out in agreement and not huh? which just sounds like the speaker is dumb
  3. One square kilometre of land for every three people4 %2841%29
  4. We are funnier- Wayne and Schuster, Lorne Michaels, John Candy, Mike Myers,Jim Carrey, Catherine O’Hara, Seth Rogen Jay Baruchel,Michael Cera….
  5. Our banks are better- 4 of the top ten in the world are Canadian, the top U.s. bank ranked 9th-Citigroup
  6. For our population we break more Guinness world records
  7. Our government does not kill people; capital punishment was abolished in 1776 and no one has been executed since 1961. The States has 3,125 prisoners on death row.
  8. maple syrup
  9. We are more fit. 35.9 Americans are obese and only 24.5 OF Canadians are overweight.
  10. We live longer- an average of 3 years longer than Americans
  11. images (5)
  12. Americans always make fun of us because we are polite; we always say. “I’m sorry” but researchers at the University of Waterloo say it is boosts happiness. Apologizing to the police for speeding results in an average drop of $51 in fines
  13. The wilderness — we still have lots of it
  14. Our lobster tastes better
  15. Our roads are safer
  16. Fewer homicides per person and mass murders are rare
  17. Our national animal, the beaver, is industrious and rugged
  18. The salmon run
  19. We lead in quantum computing
  20. Our judges are appointed not voted in
  21. We can read the cereal box and road signs in two different languages
  22. A whole T.V. channel dedicated to politicians bickering
  23. Place Names that come from Aboriginal languages
  24. 320354_771625335672_936945032_n
  25. We have better skiing with more ski trails, longer runs and more snow on Canada’s Whistler Mountain compared to America’s Vail
  26. We dominate hockey; it is Canada’s game
  27. We get more paid holidays. 23% of Americans get no paid time off. ALL Canadian workers get at least 2 weeks paid vacation + 9 paid public holidays
  28. Newfies – I love their accent and sense of humour. They are the salt of the earth
  29. The north is a land of untouched beauty
  30. Driving for miles across the flat prairies. We spotted a farmhouse that was 60 kilometres away!
  31. Easy geography classes: we only have ten provinces and three territories
  32. Excellent education system ; our 15 year-olds score in the top 10 of 65 countries. American kids are #17.
  33. MORE POOR KIDS GO TO UNIVERSITY- 54% OF LOW INCOME KIDS GO TO UNIVERSITY COMPARED TO 30% OF POOR AMERICAN KIDS
  34. Lots of immigrants — this is the place people from all over the world want to come to!
  35. Our Government apologizes for past mistakes!
  36. We get Visits from the Queen and other Royals
  37. Our corporate taxes are lower
  38. An almost peaceful history
  39. Intelligent population
  40. canada-scenery-582-2
  41. When spring comes, we appreciate it
  42. We know how to make good, strong, HOT tea
  43. The weather is a legitimate topic of conversation and we ALWAYS talk about the weather
  44. Toques
  45. Coffee Crisp … Only available in Canada!
  46. Affordable university tuition
  47. Lots of fresh water!
  48. We’re less pushy than some other countries
  49. We let everyone come here, and do their thing. Even if they wouldn’t do the same for us.
  50. Ketchup chips … Only here.
  51. Moose,Elk, Deer
  52. Brown Bears,Polar Bears
  53. So many rivers and lakes- we live in the land of a thousand islands
  54. Great fishing, especially in fly in camps up north
  55. Majestic mountains
  56. Coasts on three oceans
  57. Second largest country in the world
  58. Largest prosperous country in the world
  59. Freedom
  60. Peacekeepers
  61. images (6)
  62. Aboriginal people who have fought in all the wars, with an astounding war record
  63. Official recognition of rights of Aboriginal Nations embedded in our national constitution
  64. No one ever won between the French and the English: we just compromised!
  65. Every landscape imaginable, all in one magnificent country
  66. Enormous National Parks
  67. Anne of Green Gables
  68. Lots of hockey rinks, great outdoor skating rinks in almost every village, town and city. We even have one and our population isn’t even posted
  69. Car heaters that plug-in when it’s cold. Even store parking lots provide plug-ins
  70. Icicles- some are 3-4 feet long from our roof
  71. Skating and hot chocolate
  72. Beaver Tails
  73. 224834a50d6cd49cc0b64dd74a46c988The longest skating rink in the world on Ottawa’s canal
  74. Sound of crickets
  75. The sound of Canada Geese flying back from their holiday in the South
  76. We spell colour and neighbourhood the right way
  77. We are proud of our British roots
  78. Northern Lights, or Aurora Borealis
  79. We love to make fun of ourselves
  80. We love to make fun of people who don’t know anything about us, especially Americans
  81. Terry Fox was one of us
  82. Gordon Lightfoot
  83. Lenard Cohen
  84. Arctic Rangers
  85. The change of seasons
  86. Incredible beauty
  87. The tundra
  88. Best opera house in North America is Toronto’s Four seasons Centre built by Jack Diamond who built Mariinsky 11 theatre in St. Petersburg, Russia by invitation of Valery Geriev
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