Past

The past looked at me with round, glistening eyes as if it had tears in them. She was my memory. She was my gateway to whatever I have ever known in my life. She appears in front of me every time I listen to my old time favorite songs, or see my kindergarten report cards with shining stars and funny faces and bunnies holding balloons. Once I tried to get hold of her, but she dissolved in my hands like the wind. Sometimes I didn’t even want to know her but she would drift into my room unknowingly and sit in front of me as a silent spectator.

Once she showed me the silent corridors of my school. She showed me and my friends walking down that corridor laughing. She was not bothered about how I felt about all this. She was an invisible companion. She sometime showed me my despicable side and sometime the kindness in me. She showed how foolish I was sometimes and how brilliant I was at other times.  As years and days passed by, I turned to her every time seeking answers for questions that no one else could answer except her. She was sometimes like Google to me, the greatest master we turn to for every single question and answer in our life. She was sometimes harsh and sometimes kind.

She never spoke a word to me. She just enters my mind and I can see everything, from the time I was in kindergarten crying for my mommy till I was all dressed up for my farewell ceremony. Everything.  Just everything. She was immortal and there was no escaping her. She was everywhere for me and suddenly it seemed as though I could not live without her. Her presence became necessary for me, like oxygen in the air. She led me; she showed me my mistakes, my rash behavior to some people in my life. She never advised me on anything; it was my job to figure out what was right and what was wrong. I could never believe that she was just a mirage of life. She was invisible to others, but she stayed by my side always.

At last I made friends with her, I made friends with my past…..

Advertisements