Author Archive

Goats…

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Why do goats eat everything? Because they are baaaaaaaaaad. Hang on isn’t that a sheepish noise though?

My penis…

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Well my penis is still inflamed on the inside because I have trouble leaving it alone. Sleepless nights do not help. It is not infected, however it does leave me more prone to… Continue reading

FOILED BY PRESIDENT FRED…

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“F.X.     DOOR SLAMS. Bloodnok     (hums) Christmas in Capri – let’s count the moolah. F.X.     DOOR OPENS. Moriarty     Hands up! Bloodnok     Ah! Great thundering widgets of Kludge! Put down that double-action hydraulic-recoil eighteen-inch Howitzer.”

FOILED BY PRESIDENT FRED

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“F.X.     DOOR SLAMS. Bloodnok     (hums) Christmas in Capri – let’s count the moolah. F.X.     DOOR OPENS. Moriarty     Hands up! Bloodnok     Ah! Great thundering widgets of Kludge! Put down that double-action hydraulic-recoil eighteen-inch Howitzer”

Social skills tip…

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I am not too sure that it is always advisable to stare longingly into a lovely lady’s cleavage in order to proceed with modern forms of courtship. Especially not if this lady is… Continue reading

Life…

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Pessimism is so inane and unremarkable. I cannot see how it would ever amount to anything amazing. I mean why even bother with it?

The Hotel cigarette break..

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Stood bums against the wall in lazy posture, facing commercial blocks of hotels and medium priced offices, inhaling of the evil weed nicotine in relief of remaining still for a while… “Jamie”, I… Continue reading

Tuesdays…

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Although today is actually Friday. I was thinking about the phrase which has been reputedly used and  greatly emphasised in the children’s cartoon “Sponge Bob Square pants”. The phrase being ” See you… Continue reading

No…

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Waking up to the sounds of chaotic drilling through concrete, soon putting me off the morning erectile presence that I could of quite easily slept through and felt fine in a few hours.… Continue reading

Space…

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How many ears are there in deep space… Three; the left ear, the right ear and the final frontear. (From the best of the men behaving badly scripts)