A Romantic Feminist

It sounds like an oxymoron, a romantic feminist. If you believe stereotypes, feminists aren’t even feminine! Where I come from, women who are pro-women are assumed to be anti-man! So what’s a feminist doing getting sappy over romance? All I know is I’m a feminist, and I’m a sucker for romance. Consider this: Maybe women who are feminists are really striving for right relationship with the men they love.
I think I’m attracted to romance because romance is intimate. Intimacy can be sexy because the world disappears and the present moment belongs to the lovers alone; for touching, sweet talking, kissing…
God knows women and men have explored every possibility of sexual intimacy, but I think kissing is really sexy. The human lips are so heavily charged with nerve endings they’re considered an erogenous zone. So yeah, an intentional, focused, fiercely personal touch of lips is pretty romantic.
Holidays can be romantic. To me, Christmas is way more romantic than Valentine’s Day. OK, on February 14 you have hearts and flowers, obvious metaphors for the beauty and sweetness of love. Chocolate is there to represent the pure pleasure of sexual attraction, though I wouldn’t want to exchange one for the other. But at Christmastime the whole scene is set for romance: Snow piling up outside the window; two lovers snuggled close in a room dimly lit by fire and softly colored lights; there’s a special gift, and mistletoe. Some of my most romantic moments have happened at Christmas.
What about romance and love? It’s easy to mistake lust for love. When you are irresistibly pulled to your lover like a magnet and he or she is all you can think about and nothing less will do than total personal intimacy, yeah, I can see how lovers would make a mad (mistaken?) rush to the alter. Life however, is more than the supremely romantic courtship and Big Wedding Day. It can, in fact, be quite unromantic, and therein lies the test; can romance be everlasting?
Yes. If sexual attraction lasts too. People put a lot of importance into outside appearances, but I think lasting romance involves a strong sexual attraction to the inner qualities of a lover. I’ve always thought true “sexy” comes from within. There are millions of personal qualities in people that can trigger this kind of lasting attraction. That’s the point where romance can transform into enduring love.
Statistics show that traditional marriage isn’t for everyone, but sexual attraction generally is. Apart from the politics of sex, (and there are plenty) men and women want to pair up; for an hour, a day, a night, or like swans, wolves and bald eagles, for a lifetime.
Imagine two longtime lovers at day’s end laying together in their cozy full size bed (not queen, not king). Before turning out the lights, they roll over, face to face for that sweet and intimate goodnight kiss they never fail to collect. And, Oh those eyes! Those beautiful eyes. Hers brown. His blue. Tenderly they kiss, then lights out…
Maybe it’s me, but isn’t that romantic?

 

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