Friday Counseling Issues: Abandonment, Part 5
A person who has been abandoned, whether physically or emotionally, tends to develop habits of self-harm. Usually, these habits involve substance abuse: Alcohol, drugs, cutting, sexual promiscuity, obesity. Because he believes he is not worth loving, he doesn’t care much about taking care of his health.
The tendency to try to bury the hurt and fear under alcohol, food, sex, or drugs is very strong. Of course, doing so only creates more problems and makes healing slower and more complicated.
Along with self-abuse comes the need for constant, excessive reassurance. This need is not, of course, restricted only to those who have been abandoned. We’ve all known people who seem to need to be told often and with feeling that they are ok, that they are loved, needed, look wonderful, have talents and gifts, and so forth. And we all know how draining it is to be in the position…
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