Something, anything

Being awkward
isn’t something I inherited,
or learned even,
I was born that way.
Just the way I was born
littered with birthmarks
all over my body.
But I can teach you,
if you like,
how to be awkward!
I must warn you though,
it isn’t fun.
Not even the slightest bit.
Awkward moments are measured,
well I measure mine.
Want to know how?
In direct relation
to the eagerness I feel to disappear
or even have the ground open up.
Something, anything.
Oh, I am talking about
social awkwardness,
by the way.
There are three simple steps:
knock, rock, and drop.
Knock things over,
rock while making conversation,
drop your gaze
and
drop the conversation
as fast as you can.
Make excuses,
I am sure you can think quick…
something, anything!
Know that you have succeeded,
when you feel a sense of
crumbling
from within you.
Like an invisible massive GIANT
was destined to
crumble you,
like the pieces of paper
you have been crumbling
since aged one.
This invisible GIANT
leaves you too
suffocated
to utter another word,
even if it is a simple
hello!
Social awkwardness isn’t fun,
but I can teach you
how to be awkward!
Will you then teach me
how not to be awkward…
One step?
Two steps?
Something, anything.

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