“Do you wanna call me up and talk to me” I whispered. “Yes please” she responded in her sweet voice, with a stress on the word please. Which of course brought a tiny hint of smiling to the gloomy lack of emotion that regularly transmits of the reflections of light from my face. Although for what it was worth, to me, it really was a smile. Just I doubt anyone else could really tell…… Even if I was just at home staring endlessly into the walls or the floor. Even if I was face to face with someone I could feel passionately about, who may even make my life seem worthwhile. The arduous journey continues, in the obscure voided blistering fashion that it always did… Albeit with a tiny glimmer of distant hope, for the first time in 32 years. Which is exactly my age along with the time since my last reluctant birthday.