Is The Grass EVER Greener?
I returned to the UK before Christmas, and during this trip I arranged to meet up with two friends I hadn’t seen in a very long while.
We decided to have a ‘girl’s night out’, so one of my friends had booked a rather lovely restaurant to kick off re-union. After our initial ‘hellos’ and ‘how have you been’, we gladly made our first Vodka toast to a great night. It was then that our talk soon turned to less lighter topics.
It was during this conversation that I soon discovered the reasons why one of my friends had decided to leave her husband.
When I had initially met my friend through work, she had a luxury lifestyle. Her and her Husband both had excellent jobs, a wonderful house and fabulous cars; they took exotic holidays four times a year, and had no real money or other worries to complain of. Or, so was the impression she gave. Soon enough my friend moved her career forward and we lost contact; during this time of change she also decided to leave her comfortable lifestyle behind too. The reason for her drastic decision was because her Husband was too distant; in her words he ‘didn’t notice’ she was there. The man she consequently left him for had noticed she was there, and that was the ingredient she felt had been sorely missing in her marital relationship.
Now she had seen that the grass was greener, with a new man, she didn’t hesitate to follow her heart and leave. Only she hadn’t anticipated that this decision to leave her Husband, and move in with her new love would not be quite as she expected it would be.
Soon enough her new situation, and new man, turned sour. The once secure and sensible woman didn’t undergo a metamorphosis, she didn’t become the fulfilled individual she had hoped, but instead she became a lonely, depressed and abused woman.
Her new man used her for money, took drugs and beat her; but she had made her choice, and as the rut grew around her she believed there was no escape.
It took two years of this horrible situation until my friend gained the motivation, courage and confidence to leave. During these years she had begun to realise her mistakes. Leaving her Husband hadn’t been the solution to any of her problems. Suddenly she understood with a painful clarity, just how good her life had been, because that life was now lost to her, and she couldn’t undo what she had done; left it all behind.
‘The grass is greener’, twice my friend succumbed to this; leaving her Husband, and then again when she realised the loss of a past life she had not fully seen in front of her or appreciated.
Why do people do this time and time again? It takes the loss of, sometimes, everything, to realise what they had.
What drives that impulse to desire, covet or pursue something they deem denied to them? Is it a case of be careful what you wish for?
Does every person who decides to take such a drastic leap into that field of greener grass end up regretting their actions? Or is this more about an individual than a situation; the issues are within them and not on the outside?
Is the grass EVER truly greener? I wonder, is it??