When Blogging Turns Sour
When I first began blogging I told myself it was my opportunity to ‘discuss’ the things that annoyed or troubled me about life. I wasn’t going to talk too much about me, my personal feelings or issues, just about those things surrounding me which affected me. Basically, blogging was to be my opportunity to be political or controversial, if I chose to be, without someone telling me to shut up!
Of course I soon discovered I had lied to myself.
What I truly yearned for was the ability to be candid, to have complete freedom of expression or speech. To be able to ‘talk’ freely about me without sanction. This is easy enough to accomplish, as blogging can be a great way to ‘talk’ anonymously.
So, feeling safe enough to journal my own life, feelings and thoughts, I begun to blog on a more personal level. In fact, I considered blogging as a sort of therapy! Yet, in allowing myself to relax and feel at ease I compromised my anonymity, I scuppered my safe haven of talk.
If I was insecure I could write about it, if I was having doubts I could write about it, if I felt upset I could write about it; easy enough, but maybe too easy.
As this safety to share didn’t last.
The reason; an incident which occurred a few months back.
A close friend, who had read my blog from the start, read a post of mine and decided to apply their own interpretation upon the content. This person read into my post what wasn’t spelt out word for word. This person then took the info they had gleamed from my words and twisted my own words against me.
To be blunt, they almost managed to stir up some trouble for me; trouble I didn’t need nor deserve. Without even one word of explanation from me, this person just went about trying to cause damage. This person had merely read about my life, and then decided to interfere by using my own words as a weapon.
I went from feeling I had some control, via my writing, to having none. My words were out there and they had taken on a life of their own!
Since this one bad experience I have become cautious. I watch every word, I refrain from speaking my truth and truly utilising my blog time for what it had become, my therapy!
From this I see every reader as a potential word twister, someone who is looking to find a chink in my armour and use it against me.
So, my desire to truly blog has been taken from me, and I feel I can’t really be me anymore! In effect, the reason for blogging has been lost and turned sour.
In fact, this bad experience was one of my motivations for beginning blogging for ‘Share Your Articles’. I desperately wanted to rekindle what I had begun, but was forced to end at my own blog. I was desperate to regain my real voice!
The truth for me, or what I deem to be my own truth, is very important and not being able to share that on my own blog is in many ways unbearable.
So I wonder, how candid can we ever truly be whilst writing?
Are we ever safe enough to truly bear our souls, and not face a consequence, deserved or not? Because we can never been sure who is reading, and what effect our words may cause or what notions our words may inspire in those who read.
Words evidently do have a power, but often we as bloggers may not be in a position to truly wield or control that power.
I have learnt a harsh lesson, and think there will be other bloggers out there who share my experience of blogging turned sour.
It’s sad, but it’s true.
Too bad your words were used against you. I am no stranger to that. And I can get really anxious about revealing myself in print too. But really, please don’t let it stop you from being yourself while blogging. There is only one you, and that is interesting! Write on, Savvy Senorita!
Thanks for your response, I appreciate it 🙂 It is good to have a someone else share their experiences with this too. Well, I love blogging, but I still have those fears in my mind. Maybe soon they will pass (I hope), and I can resume!!! Thanks again!! Bex
Sadly, you are very correct in your overall musing – there will always be that one person who is reading, watching and waiting for you to slip up and grasp that opportunity to turn it against you. It is the downside of social media, a crevice in the volcano that spews molten ash. I think if we are going to be as honest as we hope and as candid as a picture – then there will be vultures on the sidelines waiting to consume the truth.
Thanks for your response, I appreciate it 🙂 Yes, this is part and parcel, but unfortunately my “vulture” was too close to home. I feel blogging/social media is great, but I know there are people reading my stuff, people who I wish didn’t, but I know I can’t prevent them from doing so. I want my stuff to be public, but in that I have an inescapable conundrum, the lurking vultures!!! I can’t solve the problem; blog and let them see, don’t blog and feel they have won. Hopefully I will regain my confidence to share soon enough. Thanks again, Bex
best of luck – don’t let them win!!!!
Thanks you, I appreciate that. Bex
I can’t say that I have been ‘soured’ on blogging…yet. But the possibility always exists. While I have had some inflammatory comments from readers who disagreed with my opinions, the nasty emails and comments came from complete strangers. To date, I have not had the misfortune of having my words misinterpreted by a friend, so I see how this could really sour you on blogging.
That said, you really do have to be true to your feelings when you are doing this type of writing. As long as you are not writing something to intentionally hurt someone, just keep writing.
Thanks for your comment, I appreciate it. Such things are almost expected from strangers, but yes it is more difficult from those you know, and are supposed to know you. I agree, and wouldn’t intentionally write anything to hurt someone else, that is a definitely a big no no for me too. I still feel wounded by what occurred, I suppose it is a matter of allowing myself some time to recover before I can write freely once more. Thanks again, Bex