On the Edge and Broken


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a broken paradigm

Holding a crumbling paradigm together is an exercise in futility

One of my inner images which describes my struggle to surrender control is of a wagon wheel.

This wheel is suspended over a deep chasm,

My large family of 10 is on the rim of a wagon wheel hovering over this chasm,

while I stand on the hub,

frantically turning this way and that

to hold all the broken spokes together.

I KNOW that I must let go of this futile sense of responsibility and control

I am afraid to stop.

I am trapped.

Yet, I realize that

my tension prevents natural, organic growth and healing.

My control acts like a wall, shutting out all divine intervention.

My sincere concern and earnest self-sacrifice actually magnifies everyone’s brokenness,

freezing everyone and everything.

When I finally do surrender control,

the broken spokes are instantly repaired.

The kids and my husband are smiling and healed.

I am free.

It simply took a decade.