Goodbye My Lover
Post By Anjali Paul
I start this post with a disclaimer that I’m not looking for people to give me advice on what I should have done to avoid this and I would really appreciate it if you refrained from giving me advice. Only those who have been through anything similar can imagine the pain and sorrow which ensues from such a catastrophe.
It started out like just another late evening as I sat on my bed and opened her up to start working (read facebooking/ tweeting/ blogging/ stalking) and she didn’t reboot. As any other dumb individual who knows nothing about the insides of her, I switched her off and on a few times. (It normally does the trick and she normally revs up) Nope, not this time. She had her heart set on dying on me and die, she did.
She lay there on my bed with her hideously ugly screen staring back at me saying, “check connection cable”. Alas, if only I knew that those were the last few minutes I’d get to spend with her, I’d have stared at that beautiful screen a little more. I didn’t mourn. I was sure that someone would say the magic words and bring her back to life again but I pushed her away from me and slept.
The next day as I sent her away to those who were the only ones that could help, I think I shed a tear. I reminisced about all our fun times together, all the cities we’d visited and all the pain and suffering we had shared together and all the happiness. Sigh. I knew I should’ve taken back up of all that data but I didn’t. I was just thinking about getting her serviced and buying an external hard disk before doing that when this tragedy happened. I got the call around 11 AM, 2 days later when she was supposed to be returned to me. She was dead… very literally. The guy said that they couldn’t revive the hard disk. I think I cried then. I don’t know why it didn’t happen immediately but I was glad that I cried when I did. 3 and a half years wiped out within a moment’s notice. I spent 5 minutes crying; got up and started work. I had lost data which was due in 2 days for a Govt. level project which took me 2 weeks to do. No time to cry. No time to mourn.
I got her clone back the next day. She came back cleaner and brand new and I just couldn’t accept her. I still can’t. She was empty, soul-less… heartless… She came back with everything fixed and perfect like how we just walk out of the parlor. It was her but just not HER. She didn’t have the flaws which I had learnt to love about her and those strange sounds she used to make when she got too hot. Sigh.
Why did she die, you must be wondering? Jaipur has a lot of power fluctuations and as her battery had died about 2 years ago, she was always plugged in. She died because I was too lazy to call up the computer guy and replace her battery. She died because of my negligence.
It has only been a few days since the tragedy and I’m still in denial. It hit me yesterday for the first time when I switched her on in my room as I was about to sleep. I wanted to watch a movie and yes… no movies… no data… no photos… no music… no work… no nothing… I shut her down almost immediately and turned my head away and slept.
Don’t wait till it’s too late to get your laptop checked. I don’t want you to face the same pain and sorrow I’m going through. I would like to dedicate this song in her memory.
I’m sorry. I know I let you down. Hope you’re doing swell up there I promise to take better care of your clone. Much love.